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kyle cassidy

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This is still not a fitness blog [Apr. 19th, 2013|09:56 am]
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[Current Location |30,000 feet]
[mood |hopeful, anxious, accomplished, & Boston]

So I was in New York this week doing [mumble mumble secret secret] and I thought it might be a good opportunity to go running in Central Park. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this, but I saw my Sports Doctor last week for what we believe will be the final time (sniff!) he was happy with my progress and said I could continue on my running schedule to get to the 10 mile Broad Street Run on May 5th. I'd been running between 30 and 40 minutes every other day with intervals of 12 minutes running, two minutes walking and things were going well. I was pain free and had been pain free for a few weeks. So I posted to the Twitters and asked if anybody lived near central park and would let me stash my cameras there for an hour or so to go running.




Running With Rollergirls. Clickenzee to Embiggen



I got a message back from Jenetic Defect (#SLOW for the Houston Roller Derby's All Stars travel team) saying that she was in NYC and was scheduled to skate at practice with Gotham but would be up for running in the park, plus I could stash my cameras at her place.

So we ran and my foot felt good, though it's amazing how out-of-shape I've gotten in the past six weeks and I've put on six pounds. The first half mile was difficult and, although it got easier from there, it never got easy like it used to be. We ran for 40 minutes which turned out to be 3.8 miles through a beautiful park packed with people running. We ran past turtles, we ran past a castle. Every turn seemed to show some other hidden adventure. A fountain jetting water sky high ... it seemed every person in Manhattan was out there sprinting. I ran slow. I only passed people who were going in the other direction. A Marine with a purple heart blew past me carrying a five foot American Flag on a pole and a heavy backpack. I watched him for the next 10 minutes as he got smaller and smaller in the distance, never slowing down.

After we stopped I got on a train and came back home, feeling pretty good. The next morning there was a hint of that same tell-tale pain in my ankle at the fracture point, a dull, very difficult to place pain, but the same one I remembered from the early days of the injury. I fell into an ocean of disappointment. My recovery wasn't going as well as I'd thought and even with the relaxed schedule we'd come up with, I might not make it. I'd been hoping to run with Philly for Boston that night and I kept thinking what kind of schedule I could make -- I could take the subway half way and meet the pack around 16th I could just run the half mile from city hall to the Liberty Bell -- but it became obvious that anything I did would probably jeopardize my recovery. And, as my Sports Doctor has said "If the 10 mile Broad Street Run is the goal, don't get distracted by other, smaller things along the way."

The two big factors at work here are the healing of my tibia, and the building up of my endurance and it's a crazy see-saw. The more endurance I build, the more I risk re-injuring my tibia, the less endurance I build, the stronger my leg gets. There are three possibilities when when race comes up -- 1) That I won't have the physical endurance to run ten miles and I'll crap out somewhere along the way and limp defeatedly away to find a taxi home. I've never run ten miles before. Even at the peak of my fitness, the most I've ever done is 7.5 miles; most people will be training for this race for months, I have two weeks. 2) I'll hurt something while running and crap out along the way. This isn't just a re-injury of the stress fracture, there are lots of muscles that need to be built up, that I could hurt -- like my quads which I've discovered I need to keep my ilio tibital band in place ... the whole thing is a careful balance. Option C is that I have enough endurance and my leg is strong enough and I finish and nobody really cares but me but I stare at that medal hanging on my wall for the rest of my life and think if you really want, you can do things you didn't think you could do.

It's been 48 hours and my ankle feels better, but it might mean days before I can run again and I may be going way back -- to essentially start over again.

On one hand, it's just a race, blah blah blah, there will be many more but I feel like I've been through fire and up mountains for this -- and I've turned this body from a lump of clay into something that moves fast and goes far and I've earned this.




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Comments:
[User Picture]From: oracne
2013-04-19 02:18 pm (UTC)

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Can you do any endurance work on the elliptical? Will that help at all? Not sure if that's any easier on injuries than the pavement.

Alternatively, you could start thinking of a new goal that happens a little bit later. Depressing, sure, but if you heal up completely, new goals will be there waiting for you.
[User Picture]From: mizkit
2013-04-19 02:22 pm (UTC)

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In an attempt to avoid being Helpy, I will just say: sympathies!
[User Picture]From: kylecassidy
2013-04-19 03:32 pm (UTC)

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Yah -- I've got a doctor my insurance company paid thousands of dollars to be helpy.
[User Picture]From: momebie
2013-04-19 03:05 pm (UTC)

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I wish you luck with your continued recovery, you have earned this. And I know this isn't a fitness blog and I'm a stranger on the internet, but I just wanted to tell you that your efforts and your work to recover are really inspiring to me. Tomorrow I'm doing my first race. I's a mud run obstacle course and I'm kind of nervous about it, but mainly I'm excited that one day I might also be working up to a ten mile run. So thank you for sharing these things with us.
[User Picture]From: kylecassidy
2013-04-19 03:33 pm (UTC)

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go go go! and when you cross that finish line throw your arms up in the air and say "I DID THIS!"

(try not to swallow any mud while you're doing it.)
[User Picture]From: coffeeem
2013-04-19 04:12 pm (UTC)

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"I feel like I've been through fire and up mountains for this -- and I've turned this body from a lump of clay into something that moves fast and goes far"

Okay, now re-read that part. That last bit, after the dash, is what you passed through fire and climbed mountains for. You think it's this race, but it's not. Your new, strong, fast, flexible body is what you've earned, and it will only get better. You're not nearing the end of this journey--you've only just set out. There are wonderful adventures and rewards ahead (like seeing Central Park from a runner's perspective!).

But you have to be able to continue the journey. This injury is only a delay in it, and will pass, as long as you listen to what your traveling companion--your body--has to say. Think of this period of being careful as an investment, not in one race medal, but a wall of them, a collection of souvenirs, memories, and participants' t-shirts.

Whatever else happens, you're a runner now. That's the beginning. You're on the trail. Let it lead you.
[User Picture]From: kuroshii
2013-04-21 08:12 pm (UTC)

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This. Seriously. :)
[User Picture]From: howlokitty
2013-04-19 04:52 pm (UTC)

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I don't want you to have another sports related injury! I think that you're pretty inspirational. And, you're an adult, so it's up to you to decide whether or not you can do this upcoming race. Even if you poop out, you're still doing something you couldn't have imagined a year ago.

I had my exciting fit moment a few weeks ago. I visited Britain and climbed tot he top of the Glastonbury Tor (supposedly where Avalon was). I had to stop a bunch of times along the way, and it was really horrible and windy and cold at the top, but when I got there, I was excited because I did it! You've done so much. You can do a lot more in the future if you're not injured from pushing too hard in the 10 mile race, even if it is the 10 mile race you've been working for and excited about all this time.
[User Picture]From: solstice_lilac
2013-04-19 05:03 pm (UTC)

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I am totally not an athlete, but as a person who has been on-again, off-again with regular exercise generally, it's my experience that it's always about building up endurance, hitting an obstacle that causes you to lose it, and then building back up again. The two steps forward, one back thing. If you keep going you will build up.. but I don't think I've yet met the person who hasn't dealt with setback after setback on their way to whatever their fitness goal is. The rarer people are the ones who don't let the setbacks put them off their game, whatever their game happens to be. You are one of those. You've done a LOT already, and if this race isn't at the right time.. if you take care of your body you will go farther and farther. Sometimes it takes more, different, strength/endurance to rest when you need to!
[User Picture]From: tripleransom
2013-04-19 05:48 pm (UTC)

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You could swim or use an exercise bike to get your endurance back, but that won't help the leg get stronger.

Don't push yourself past what you can do - it's not worth an injury. Srsly.
[User Picture]From: saraaaaaa
2013-04-19 08:07 pm (UTC)

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All I can say, having had leg and ankle and foot injuries/breaks, I know you're itching to get back to what you were doing before DO NOT RUSH YOUR HEALING. I broke a few bones in my foot and was like 'I can keep on keeping on, my time in the boot is almost over, I can go hiking'. I did. And now I have a foot that constantly aches when the weather changes and can't tolerate substantial weight bearing. I screwed up the healing and I'll be bothered by it for a long while.

Feet and legs take a long long while to heal and are very very fussy. Do not rush if you'd like to get back to what you had before.
[User Picture]From: lois2037
2013-04-20 08:41 am (UTC)

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Wow! You're running with a rollergirl, she's running barefoot?! Rollergirls are just incredibly tough!

Healing will happen, and before you know it, I believe.



[User Picture]From: tigerinvaseline
2013-04-20 03:28 pm (UTC)

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JENETIC!
[User Picture]From: lawbabeak
2013-04-20 05:32 pm (UTC)

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You HAVE earned it. And hopefully your body will be ready. And it will suck, suck,suck if you can't do the Broad Street Run this year. But you can use that for motivation to improve yourself, improve your form, your stretching, your cross-training, so you can do the race next year. And the year after that. You're running for life, not just for this next race.