November 6th, 2005

the saddest news i can fit into a human heart

last night i came home from cindy and l.c.'s wedding to find 1ear dead on the livingroom floor; in a place where she frequently sat. i don't know what happened but i assume it was a complication of her pregnancy. perhaps she'd just had too many babies and her body couldn't take it anymore. she'd seemed healthy and happy just a few hours before. i scratched her head and rubbed her belly before i left and she was purring.

there is a hole in my soul the size and shape of a one eared cat that will never be filled. of all the animals on earth, and all the animals i've ever had the joy to share a roof with, she was the one i courted, she was the one i wanted, she was the only one i chose. the first part of her life had been so awful, i wanted to make the last part of it happy. i thought this was going to be a few years, but in the end we were given only short weeks.

i know there are people out there who have become vicariously attached to her over the years while i was trying to convince her to come inside, and who rejoyced when she finally did. if you find yourself moved or wanting to do something, please consider donating to city kitties in her name. they're trying to end the west philadelphia stray epidemic that lead 1ear to live outside with no home for so long.

for years nobody could get close to her -- she was shy and skittish. but after she came inside, she quickly learned to look at people as sources of love and affection. she would trot out to visit strangers, demanding a little head scratching and engaging them in conversation with a strangled "GAAAAK" which was as close to a "meow" as she knew to make. she did know how to purr though, and it was a sound i heard from her a lot while she was here. i ask each of you, at some point in your life, to find some thing that nobody loves and make life better for it.

i miss you tragically 1ear. i hope the next life is better to you than this one was.

momcat, in other news, still hates me.
  • Current Mood