So here's my dumb idea. I think "all momcat needs is some roofies" so I get her a little bowl of catnip, climb back on the bed and push it towards her an inch at a time. Finally, she leans over and starts sniffing it. "Oooh, good stuff!" She sticks her face in the bowl, start rolling around in it, stuffing the back of her head in the bowl and rolling around like she's got an itch something fierce, twirling on the bed like a fish out of water. "Now!" I think, "Now is the time to make my move! Muhaha!" I reach my hand out and she's like "Woah! Dude! Step back my friend, you can't touch this!"
So now she's sitting at the foot of my bed, stoned, and covered in catnip. Which is all over everything. It's like a little catnip bomb went off in my room.