kyle cassidy (kylecassidy) wrote,
kyle cassidy

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I go to the best parties -- Maced in Missouri

So, this is what passes for fun in Missouri.

Steven had broken the safety on his expensive pepper spray gun and didn't know how to properly dispose of it. "Well," said Ollie, "you could shoot me in the face with it."

Everybody decided that this was a pretty good idea, mostly because they weren't Ollie.

(In case you were wondering, Ollie is a former Marine, so this makes sense in some strange way.)

So, after having done extensive research on the Internet about first aid for oleoresin capsicum victims, everybody crowded around outside each with some theory they wanted to test, Ollie stood about fifteen feet back and Steven shot him right in the face. Splat! Bullseye.

Ollie laughed for about 15 seconds, then he said he felt a slight burning sensation for another 15 seconds. And then, it was pretty much just pure, unadulterated, incapacitating agony for the next hour and 15 minutes.

First as much of the OC as possible was wiped off with a towel, and Ollie flushed his eyes with two gallons of milk.

(recommended by the interwebs (no effect))

He was rushed to the bathroom where he flushed his eyes with antacids, and a constant stream of water (no discernible effect).

The first aid team kept a constant supply of ice water -- which seemed to be the only thing that actually reduced the pain -- running ice water over his open eyes, though the OC spray is oil based and not water soluble.

Periodically people would pop in and check on him. His usual comment was "aaaaagghh!". There was a cheer when he re-emerged finally saying that his skin felt like he had the worst sunburn on Earth but he could finally see again.

So, I'm sold on the pepper spray.

(There's probably video of this all on youtube somewhere.)

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