kyle cassidy (kylecassidy) wrote,
kyle cassidy
kylecassidy

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How Rock Stars Get Married

So today, Vitalij Kuprij got married.

In the photography business you meet lots of rock stars and other interesting people, but you become friends with very few. VK was one of those few. We totally hit it off right from the start and have been friends for three or four years now. I did the album cover for his classical piano album The Modern European Tradition (which looked very nice) and for his prog-metal album Revenge.

trillian_stars and I got all fabuloused up and took the Philly Car Share out to the super secret location. Trillian thought the wedding was "very emotional" I thought "it was very hot in that church." After the ceremony (which Trillian may go into, who knows) everybody went off to the reception except VK, his new bride, his manager, Dan, Trillian, and me. I wanted to take a few photos in front of the church. So VK's walking in circles smoking (VK smokes like southern california in the dry season, much to my dismay), we're milling about waiting for Christy to get her other shoes, when we hear this voice:

"YOU! HEY YOU! I'M [EXPLETIVE DELETED] TALKING TO YOU [EXPLETIVE DELETED]!"

I turn around, and it's this 11 or 12 year old girl running down the street. She continues yelling:

"YOU'RE IN FRONT OF A [EXPLETIVE DELETED] CHURCH! YOU [EXPLETIVE DELETED]! YOU [EXPLETIVE DELETED]ING [EXPLETIVE DELETED]ER! YOU ARE DISRESPECTING GOD!" She punctuates this with a scream, like her arm got caught in a garbage disposal scream: "AAAGGGHHHH!"

We all stare at her in dumbfounded silence. But she's not done.

"HOW DARE YOU [EXPLETIVE DELETED] SMOKE IN FRONT OF A [EXPLETIVE DELETED]ING CHURCH!! I AM GOING TO GET MY FATHER AND HE IS GOING TO KICK ALL OF YOUR [EXPLETIVE DELETED]! BUT RIGHT NOW I AM GOING TO [EXPLETIVE DELETED] YOUR [EXPLETIVE DELETED] WIFE! AAAGGGHHH! AAAGGGHHHH! AAGGGHHH! COME ON [EXPLETIVE DELETED] I'M GOING TO [EXPLETIVE DELETED] YOU! I'M GOING TO [EXPLETIVE DELETED] YOU! I'M GOING TO [EXPLETIVE DELETED] YOU UP! AAGGHH! AAAGHHH!!!"

Immediately following this three things happen at once which is very telling of the characters of those involved. Those among you who are aspiring or practicing psychologists or psychiatrists might want to take note.

Christy says: "Ignore her," and turns around.
Vitalij says: "Dan, take care of this," and goes back to his cigarette.
Kyle says: "Someone fight this girl, I can get a great shot from here!"

Then the kid starts screaming, "AAAGGGH! AAGGGH!" again -- like she's being stabbed, and she runs out into the street (I kid you not) standing in traffic she bangs on the windows of cars, stopping them, pointing and shouting: "HE'S SMOKING IN FRONT OF THE [EXPLETIVE DELETED] CHURCH!"

We all watch with a dazed fascination. After three or four cars, she runs hysterically to the front door of the nearest house and bangs frantically on it, like a baby's caught in a well. There's no answer! She goes to another. Finally, she runs back out into the street, flags down the next car -- bangs on the window, screams like "AAAGGH! AAGGAH!": the driver lets her in, they drive off and we never see them again.

Then we went to the reception.

Trillian's post will probably be all about the joys of watching two people in love promise to grow old together and share life's triumphs and burdens. With us, you get the whole story, you lucky dogs.





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