Roswell stood up, stretched, yawned, and headed in from the porch for a drink. As she leaned in, she noticed slight ripples on the surface. Definitely not normal. She sniffed and smelled something new, a sweet, slightly fishy odor, not unpleasant, but not familiar. That’s when she saw the flicker of a tiny trident flashing across the bowl. What the…
She tentatively tapped the water with her paw, once, once more, then slapped it bap-bap-bap-bap-bap hard enough to fling something or someone - with a finny tail - against the dry side of the receptacle.
O, noes! Iz truff! Dere iz warz @ C!
She’d heard the rumors from the hoi polloi who frequented the alley at night, but who knew it could be true, let alone make it into the city. She plunged her furry face into the hated liquid.
There were three-against-one guppy-sized warriors in full battle, tiny tendrils of merfolk blood streaming from wounds on silvery flesh. She realized the aggressors must have chased their target in through the pipe. Taking advantage of his torture, she grabbed him in her teeth, dragged him out of the water, and dropped him onto the tile.
He gasped and writhed for a brief moment and expired. Pwned!
Roswell carried her delicate, decaying offering into the bedroom and laid it on the pillow. Then she headed for the kitchen where she sat washing her face waiting for the screaming. Trillian would be so surprised when she awoke from her nap.
2009-08-13 02:08 am (UTC)
Please write a book/video/movie about Roswell. She seems to have so much to tell.....
A lithe, blonde mermaid awoke suddenly on the bottom of the ocean floor with a splitting headache. Her blue eyes took in the abundant aquatic life that surrounded her and winced in pain. Suddenly, she heard a loud shout, “Alice! Where have you been?!?!”
Mildly bewildered, Alice answered, “Jeffrey? Not so loud, please, I’ve a headache that pains me so, and it’s caused the most vivid dream.”
Jeffrey sat on the ocean floor beside her folding his brilliant green tail beneath him and asked, “Alice, where have you been?! We’ve been searching for hours.”
Looking more confused than ever, Alice shook her head and replied, “Why I’ve been here all along, I decided to take a nap. However, I dreamt that a huge, furry sea monster decided that I was it’s plaything, and threw me around and around the water. The creature was huge! Why, in my dream, I only saw a part of it, yet it was twice the size of me, and it had claws the size of my arm! But that doesn’t explain why I’ve awoke with such an awful headache. Will you help me home?”
Jeffrey flitted up from his position on the ground in a flash of metallic green and reached his hand toward her lovely body. “Of course, I’ll help you home, just give me your hand. However, you really must try not to wander off for naps in the most random places. It worries everyone so when we can’t find you. Surely, you wouldn’t have such awful nightmares if you would only take your naps on your nice seaweed mattress at home.”
With that, hand-in-hand the two mer-people swam off toward their mer-home.
Outside a ten-gallon aquarium filled with brilliantly colored plants and statues, a white-trimmed black cat sat intently watching a rather large goldfish swim lazily in circles. The cat twitched her tail in rhythm with the swimming fish. Eventually, the cat stood on her hind legs, dipped a furry claw into the water, and whipped it around wildly, completely unaware of the havoc caused to the aquarium decor.
She stood alone on the vast, empty shore. The great waves roared, crashed, frothed over sand and raced towards her feet. She shivered in disgust. To step foot in that disgusting ocean was the last thing she wanted.
She daintily slapped at it with one sandy paw. The water swirled around her claws and she pulled back, hissing.
It was so cold!
However, the call had come. She sighed, onward it must be.
With one powerful thrust she let herself fly through the air and into the waves. After a brief moment of swirling mayhem, her feet found purchase and she settled on the ocean floor.
Seawater filled her lungs. Choking, she gasped for air. The water filled her mouth and she felt herself begin to retch. Her whole body convulsed and she hacked a mighty cough.
At her feet sat, or rather floated, a hairball. She knocked it away in distaste.
She crossed many leagues before finally arriving at the undersea palace. The distance would have been annoying but she had traversed it many times before.
The Sea King was waiting. Ten stories to Roswell’s tiny stature and yet she stood before him, mighty in her pride.
“What do those Humans think they are doing?!” He bellowed.
“How should I know?”
“You are the ambassador.”
“I’m just a cat. You’re a King.” At once he deflated, his anger giving way to sadness.
“They have forgotten me. I no longer have even a name.”
“Then you must remind them. That is the only advice I have. You were once a god to them, they trembled in fear at your power. Make it so once again.” He stared glumly at her, not deigning to reply.
“Is there anything else? I dare say it’s time for my lunch and I will soon be missed.”
Back on land Roswell regarded the horizon; an angry storm of justified anger would soon be on its way. Roswell supposed she could attempt to warn them, but humans had forgotten the wiseness of cats. That memory was buried deep along with the names of their gods.
Roswell looks like she should have a Streaky The Supercat cape.
I Can ALWAYS Haz Mer-Ninjas
They flee through the water this time thinking I will not follow, but I do. My wet fur is uncomfortable, water pours into my ears and muddles my vision but I am sleek and fierce as a diving tiger in my pursuit.
They stole it from me, these mongrel enemies, these barbarian banes. I was sleeping when they crept into my lair and wrenched from my grip the last jewel of Bastania, the pride of my people and sole surviving relic of our lost kingdom. Fools to think it would be so easy! Fools to think it would not be reclaimed!
I tire of this perpetual battle, but my duties as Protector of Premises will not let me rest. Besides, when I find them I will enjoy piercing their hearts with my perfect claws and feasting on the warm goo in their bellies. Then, when justice has been wrought, I will ascend from this watery hell, return to my bed and finally, peacefully, slumber.
A rumbling noise begins to throb in the water, something chaotic and familiar I can feel all the way through my bones. A thick cramp has settled into my lungs, and I try to ignore the sound as I push forward. I do not have much time, but this nefarious clamor distracts me, tempting me to abandon my chase and follow its Siren promises. I must not yield. I will never yield!
The man looks down at the twitching cat and shakes the box of food one more time.
“Hey Roswell. Roswell kitty...wake up! Breakfast!”
The cat opens one eye, pushes out a sleek black paw and yawns. One long nail is evident for a moment before she retracts it, delicately.
“What do you think cats dream about?” the man asks the woman who has joined him.
Together they turn and follow Roswell into the kitchen.
“Oh, mice and things. If anything at all,” she says. “I don’t know if cats can dream actually.”
She bends down and gives her a scratch. The cat purrs lazily as she eats.
“Hey Roswell? Do you dream?”
2009-08-14 05:33 am (UTC)
Encounter at Boggy Peat
With a twitch of her whiskers, Roswell took a deep whiff of the flesh lying in the grass before her. It definitely was tuna. But there was a hint of something else, a subtle difference, like when He came in from the rain and Roswell could smell the grease from the bicycle cogs and not the dirt from the road.
She pawed at the fish and was disappointed in how damp it seemed. Really no better than what came out of the metal tins. She decided to leave it for now. Maybe later it would seem more appealing.
She pressed deeper into the grass and and the smell remained and she realized that it was not fish but the scent of something reptilian that lingered.
A few steps later the grass parted to reveal the shores of the bog. Mist hung over the rushes and Roswell remembered why she avoided this place. It was cold and damp. Except for the sounds of the water gently rippling against the reeds, the bog was quiet.
Roswell paused and began to lick away the dew from the wet grass that smeared her stomach. She was almost to her back paws when she heard the splash.
She cocked her head back and turned to see a figure rising out of the water just a few feet away. Her head and neck rolled around and she was righting herself to run when a scaly hand wrapped itself around her tail. A high pitched caterwaul erupted out of her lungs as she felt her hindquarters lifted from the ground. Her forelimbs swam circles in the air as the ground receding beneath her. She felt herself being whipped in an arc and then the hand released her.
Her eyes opened as she plunged underwater and through the murk she saw the black shapes of a legion of figures walking through the waters and towards the shore. At that point she knew she must do only one thing: survive and warn Him.
The silver light speared through the depths, the black speck in the center growing larger as it descended. The merpeople of Tu D’Lac watched silently as their goddess and protector from The Old Ones returned.
Once she reached them, Ro’S’Well swam to each warrior in turn, bestowing a hint of her own shining aura unto them. The process took hours, and soon the water glimmered around them.
When she reached the final recipient of her power, only a tiny glimmer remained. The small girl was presented, gurgling and smiling. Ro’S’Well rubbed against her tiny shoulder and purred out a few bubbles. With a flash, a supernatural light enveloped the girl, who would now be the conduit for enough energy to keep the settlement safe until Ro’S’Well’s return.
The high priest swam to Ro’S’Well and pressed his own scaled mouth against her velvet nose, breathing life into her for a few moments more.
“Thank you for bestowing this gift unto us once more, oh benevolent one,” he mouthed. “May your next four lives be beneficial to both our peoples.”
With that, Ro’S’Well began her treacherous ascent back to the surface. She kicked away from the dissipating crowd and thrashed up to the glassy liquid membrane separating water from air. She took in ragged, heaving breaths as her head broke through.
As she struggled to shore, she felt warm arms envelope her. She was surrounded in familiarity- there was the smell of her human and night scents reaching out to her, of fish and mud and coming rain. Crickets chirped, and with wonder she watched a group of fireflies twinkle like close up stars.
“How did you get in the lake, Roswell?” Her human asked as he hugged her shivering body close. “I wish I had my camera. You look a mess. We’ll get you home and dried off in no time. Next time you want to catch fish, let me know. I’ll try to talk you out of it.”
Ro’S’Well relaxed in his arms and purred, enjoying the warmth of his chest and the soft summer breeze.
2009-08-14 10:32 pm (UTC)
Not really an entry, just a bit of silliness on a rainy afternoon
So, this is not really an entry, because I couldn't think of anything to write. But when I saw that picture of Roswell, I found a certain image and title popping into my brain (Venus on the Half-Shell
), and found myself compelled to make this bit of silliness.
~with apologies and admiration to Victor Gadino, Kilgore Trout, Philip Jose Farmer, Kurt Vonnegut, Kyle Cassidy, Roswell, and whoever took the underwater photo I found at zunal.com
The missive from K.A.S.W. (Kitties Against Swingy-Walls) was short:
Three K.A.S.W. warriors have been taken hostage. They’re being held in a kennel believed to be at the bottom of an ocean trench, co-ordinates to follow. You must rescue them. May the Sacred ‘Nip-Mouse bless you.
It had been signed by Lenore, Feline Supreme of K.A.S.W. herself, and delivered by her personal messenger. Roswell immediately assembled her team of under-water specialists, the Mer-Kats, and as soon as the humans were looking the other way they slipped into the sewer system and made haste to where their submarine was docked.
As they approached the vessel Roswell sensed something was amiss. She hissed and arched her back as three Water Warriors pulled themselves out of the ocean and onto the dock, wielding spray-bottles. Lesser cats may have closed their eyes and fled at the thought of being squirted in the face, but Roswell and her Mer-Kats had undergone rigorous conditioning and stood their ground.
The Water Warriors were startled, giving Roswell a chance to strike. She leapt at the biggest one and bit his nose. He staggered backward into one of his fellows, knocking both of them into the water. The other Mer-Kats quickly drove the third back with their claws.
Within moments Roswell and her team were in the sub and hurtling towards the underwater kennel.
It didn’t take long to get there. Roswell climbed into her Merman-suit (which looked strikingly like Kyle Cassidy with gills) and launched from the side of the submarine.
She strolled into the kennel and announced, “I wish to adopt those kitties.” The suit translated for her.
After signing some paperwork, the cat-napped K.A.S.W. warriors were in her possession. She swam out of there quickly and was just entering the diving chamber when alarms went off behind her. Her cover blown, she screamed, “MERRROOOOOO!”
The sub took off at incredible speed, dodging several missile attacks as they returned to the surface. A pride of Special-Ops was waiting for them on the shore and escorted them to safety.
Mission accomplished, Roswell went home to take a nap.
2009-08-16 06:38 am (UTC)
Re: Roswell of K.A.S.W.
Roswell climbed into her Merman-suit (which looked strikingly like Kyle Cassidy with gills)
Due do my being remiss in my blog reading, this is all I've got...
Roswell wasn’t sure why she was the only one who realized that the new “fish” her humans brought home were actually mer-people. Then again, it made an odd kind of sense. Humans, she’d understood for a long time, lived in a bubble of denial about what was true in the world. Cats would have abandoned the entire species long ago if only they weren’t so amusing.
This was fun, though. You should do more things like this.
Roswell slammed her hand on the wheel of the Nautilus. It was bad enough that Nemo hadn't given her much more than a pat on the back and a 'Good luck' when he retired, but it was becoming quite apparent that the old bucket of bolts was no longer seaworthy. And, the "fishy people" were laughing at her.
Why she would have gone with an all feline crew, but in this economy you go with what you can afford.
“It's not as bad as it seems, you know,” said Kassandra, patting Roswell's furry back. “I haven't seen them for days.”
The words had barely escaped her lips when the Nautilus pitched hard to the left sending both Kassandra and Roswell to the floor. “We're lost for sure,” cried Roswell, dazed. She had landed on her feet, as always, but that didn't prevent her from pumping her head.
“Nonsense,” said Kassandra, with a fire greater than . “I am the Wreath-wearer. I did not go against my Father's wishes and return to the sea just to go down so soon in our journey without a fight. Is this not the Nautilus, the most feared vessel on the sea?”
“It is,” said Roswell, her ears back on her head. “It's just that he never gave me the manual.”
“Well, let's have a look,” said Kassandra, inspecting the controls. Each lever and switch was more beautiful than the next, luminescent as the day they were made. Except for two.
On the far right corner of the control panel was a tiny, spring loaded mouse. “What does this do?” said Kassandra, pointing to the right of the toy.
“What does what do?” said Roswell, her eyes glazing over. She reflexively batted at the wooden mouse.
“This one,” said Kassandra, pointing at the switch. “The one labeled On/Off.”
“I guess I never saw that one before,” said Roswell, using all of her willpower to ignore the switch's neighbor.
“I think old Nemo was playing one last trick on you,” said Kassandra, smiling. With a flick of her finger, the Nautilus was on its journey once more.
I pared down to 350, but I could have easily wrote 1,000. What a fun idea! I'm just under the wire I think, but understand I'm not on time. :D
Roswell paced by the aging stove, sniffing the air. The quiche was almost done, and she waited for the distinct smell. Roswell was the true cook of the house. She was proud of her abilities in the kitchen. Her skills include keeping rice from burning, knowing the difference between cake flour and all-purpose flour, and understanding that tofu should never be served alone.
She enjoyed her role, and she adored the scritches from her humans. Still, she knew a grander fate awaited her. It was out there in the world beyond the window. The world with loud cars and tail-grabbing children. She was scared, but today was her day to be brave.
She jumped out the door in a ferocious leap. She landed in a puddle. After a deafening meow and shaking of her paws, she padded onward. Next time I decide to be brave, she thought, I'll check the weather. The droplets fell in sheets. Roswell couldn't stay dry, let alone avoid puddles. She began to feel...odd.
She liked the water! Really liked it. She splashed through a nearby park. She discovered she could run and fly across the grass as if it were a slippery slide. She zoomed, like a luge, over a hill and into a muddy pond. She should have panicked. She didn't. To her surprise, she could swim. Something clicked. She drew a breath. Warm water tickled her throat, and it was okay. Roswell giggled.
Out of the murk, she saw gentle hands reaching towards her. Humans, but with fish tails. Thank goodness her humans had raised her as a vegan. They led her past algae clouds into the depths of the pond. A vast city stretched into the distance. Merfolk flitted by the hundreds along magical highways.
One of them spoke, “We've been waiting for you Roswell.”
“Yes, you belong here. Your mother was head of the finest culinary school in all of Pondalusa. She is gone, and you must take her place - if you are willing.”
Roswell grinned and said, “Of course I am. Where's the kitchen?”