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In Which Our Hero Almost Gets Into a Fistfight - if you can't be witty, then at least be bombastic Page 3 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
kyle cassidy

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In Which Our Hero Almost Gets Into a Fistfight [Sep. 30th, 2010|11:16 pm]
kyle cassidy
[mood |accomplishedaccomplished]
[music |wolfsheim, Heroin (she said)]

Many of your were following along on Twitter while this unfolded -- here's the expanded version ....

Yesterday we had a pair of tickets to the final dress rehearsal of the Philadelphia Opera Company's production of Verdi's Otello but trillian_stars had rehearsal herself for the Iliad which opens October 1, so I went with my friend Colin.

The show was lovely, Mark Delavan, who played Iago had injured his knee earlier and performed the whole thing in a wheelchair & this blog post probably would have been about the show were it not for The Weird Thing That Happened After.

We went out to one of my favorite bars, XIX, high atop the Bellvue hotel in Center City and sat down at a table. Right next to us, about a foot and a half away was another table where a non descript 40something couple were having drinks. Colin asked something about the reception on my iPhone and I said I'd never been able to get the signal strength to go down with the "death grip", so I pulled the case off of it and we tried to make the signal go down by holding it in various ways -- we were engaged in this scientific endeavor while waiting for our drinks when the woman next to us said:

"Excuse me, do you have glitter on your phone?"

"Why yes I do!" I said, handing her the case - which, as you know is the most awesome cell phone case ever made. (You can see it here in this photo by Rachel McCaulley.)

"You have Hello Kitty on your phone," she said, turning it over in her hand.

"When there are five iPhones on the table," I replied, "I never pick up the wrong one." I have this conversation so often that at this point it's kind of like a chess opening you've memorized. Her next line is supposed to be "This is so freaking awesome!" but she deviated from the script.

"You've got a @#$%ing problem." She said -- not in the funny way, but in the angry way and things changed a little, like got weird. I could tell that she was really offended by my phone.

She got extremely agitated very quickly and then leaned over to her date and said, "Aren't you going to do something about this?"

At this point trillian_stars arrived and we started talking about the show, but I had one wandering eye watching the action next to us -- the angry woman wouldn't let it go. She goaded her date to "kick [my] ass" and eventually he said "Dorothy, I'm not going to hit someone because you don't like his telephone."

She banged her drink down and grunted "If you can't fight Mr Hello Kittyphone maybe you shouldn't be dating me," and stalked off.

He got up and followed her out and that was that.

Looking back at my Twitter feed, the whole thing from first comment to her boiling over like an unwatched kettle took 32 minutes. It must be very stressful to live like that.

Here's a shot of the Academy of Music, taken with my awesome phone.

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[User Picture]From: kayjayoh
2010-10-01 05:50 am (UTC)
It is so tempting to make "If you can't fight Mr Hello Kittyphone maybe you shouldn't be dating me" my new Facebook status message. I'm holding out so far...
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[User Picture]From: cbpotts
2010-10-01 01:00 pm (UTC)
Tries valiantly to resist temptation with you.
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[User Picture]From: russtycat
2010-10-01 05:52 am (UTC)
You saved her date from years of bad behavior I'm sure. The guy should be buying you a hello kitty laptop skin as a thank you. ;)

Sadly the woman sounds much like my baby brother. Add alcohol and he becomes an aggressive crazy loon who likes to maim other folks for random reasons I never really understand. Certain people should not be allowed to drink or interact with other humans while drunk. Idiots. I'm glad the guy had a lot more sense.
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[User Picture]From: mizkit
2010-10-01 05:53 am (UTC)
Thank God her date wasn't equally insane. o.O
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[User Picture]From: howlokitty
2010-10-01 05:57 am (UTC)
I have customers come in like that all the time at the corporate office supply store I work at. You'd be surprised how many people buying computer parts and paper are rarin' for a fight.

As a misplaced update, I am 90 percent sure I will be working at the local community college as a professor come January; I'm thinking my interactions with people will vastly improve.

Also, kind of wish I'd kept my Hello Kitty Bling so I could send it to you. I'm not a big Hello Kitty fan; I gave the pimped out, rhinestone infested necklace to a Hello Kitty freak friend of mine.
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[User Picture]From: kehrli
2010-10-01 06:16 am (UTC)
I'm really glad that the date decided not to hit Mr. HelloKittyPhone and that the woman was too entrenched in gender stereotypes to do it herself.
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[User Picture]From: maxomai
2010-10-01 06:36 am (UTC)
Do you think she would have changed her mind had she known how many heavily armed friends you have?
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[User Picture]From: sassy_54
2010-10-01 02:34 pm (UTC)
Love it :)
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[User Picture]From: nemesis_to_go
2010-10-01 06:38 am (UTC)
You know, you could write that into a sitcom script and everybody would think it too far-fetched to be true...

Sometimes, life imitates Ricky Gervais.
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[User Picture]From: boobirdsfly
2010-10-01 06:40 am (UTC)
Can we please have my name removed from this woman?!!
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[User Picture]From: unblinkered
2010-10-01 07:15 am (UTC)
You know, when I read your tweets, I was convinced you were kidding or exaggerating greatly for comic effect.

I mean, *seriously*???????
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[User Picture]From: ed_dirt
2010-10-01 07:29 am (UTC)
Dude, it's obvious. She was just jealous, and was trying to get her boyfriend to kick your ass so she could steal your Hello Kitty iPhone cover!!!

Me personally? I've wanted to smack a few people for the unsolicited, smug demonstrations of iphone awesomeness that they have subjected me to, but I never wanted to beat anyone for it.

And one more thing, and this makes me a little sad, because it shows me that I have so much evolving to do, but had I been in your shoes, after a couple of minutes of her bull£&%$ I would have started mad-dogging her boyfriend until he either got her to be quiet/leave or else me and him got into a punch-out.
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[User Picture]From: ysobelle
2010-10-01 07:54 am (UTC)
You understand, of course, I now must call you Mr. Hello Kittyphone at all times? I'll have to change the watermarks on all the photos on my website.
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[User Picture]From: pteppic
2010-10-01 08:44 am (UTC)
When you said you had a Hello Kitty cover, I took this to be one of the yellow rubber ones.

I have now seen the case on Flickr. I had to turn the brightness down to one first and the screen has pernament holes where the sheer brilliance of the individual glittery bits has caused the screen to melt, but I have now seem the case.

No peusdo-straight man could ever carry that.
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[User Picture]From: karohemd
2010-10-01 09:24 am (UTC)
Now, I really dislike Hello Kitty and fake swarovski crystals and would never put them on my phone and I might point and laugh at you (or anyone else, regardless of gender, because there's no accounting for taste and many people will p&l at some of the things I do/wear) for having it because I think it's ridiculous but that's your decision, not mine and certainly not a reason for even thinking of violence.
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[User Picture]From: skeletoncrew
2010-10-01 10:21 am (UTC)
His reasoning is sound though, you put an obnoxious cover on your phone and it will never be accidentally picked up by anyone else. This is why my husband has a bright pink cover for his work phone, it stands out like a sore thumb.
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[User Picture]From: birdhousefrog
2010-10-01 10:18 am (UTC)
Hello Kitty is made of awesome and if she was offended by it, it's very wrong of her to try and get her date to fight you. She should have done it herself. The modern woman tilts at her own windmills.

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